


Do You Wanna Talk About It?

by Charlie Rotanev (Immerghensi)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Age Play, Age Play Little Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Little Space, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 06:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17802794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immerghensi/pseuds/Charlie%20Rotanev
Summary: There's never a dull moment in the lives of Monsta X.





	1. Let's Get You to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dkhodges](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dkhodges/gifts).



> I love school but man, am I being pulled in a lot of directions! Hopefully this one came out ok, I didn't have as much time with it as I would've liked but that's ok.

There are never enough hours in the day to get everything he wants done. It would be so helpful if he didn't have to sleep or eat, but for better or for worse he isn't a robot and he has mortal needs.

 

_11:53_

 

Ok, that’s good. He has a little bit of time before he reaches his limit, the hour when the speed of his brain will plummet to a drunken crawl whether he likes it or not. There are files which need rendering; he can let those run in the background while he does something else. He can work on lyrics and give a status update to PD while he’s still coherent.

This is fine. He’s fine.

He’s got some time.

**

When he finishes his last round of edits, he looks at the clock.

 

 _3:30_.

 

The customary halting of all logical thought happened maybe an hour ago, but he hadn’t finished so he trudged through the rest with the sheer power of his determination. The sound of his laptop closing feels final, and it feels good knowing he got his work done. It’s 3:45 when Shownu closes the door behind him. He does the nightly shuffle up to his room, making a mental note of whose lights are still on and who’s still out working. Three items remain unchecked on his laundry list of tasks to complete before the next cycle of work ‘tomorrow’.  

 _Sigh_.

There's always tomorrow.

**

Shownu is trying to keep himself awake, but it’s hard.

 

It was a mistake, he knows it was, but he'll keep making these kinds of mistakes. Jooheon accidentally unplugged himself from the speakers and the noise rocketed through the house, which meant he was awake when he really shouldn’t have been. And while it wasn’t ideal, he’d much rather know than not. So up the stairs Shownu went, pulling his dongsaeng away from his work despite protests that he was ok and that he wouldn’t be up for much longer, he just needed to finish one last thing. Shownu had to watch him get under the covers just to make sure the rapper gets some sleep. It was 4:17 by the time he tumbled into his own bed.

 

Sitting there in the white-walled board room, he can feel the lack of sleep wearing on his body. He’s at the point where he can drink coffee like it’s water and he drinks more coffee than water. Come to think of it, he drinks more coffee than he eats food.

Come to think of it, he doesn’t eat much of anything anymore.

But that’s ok. If it means everyone is taken care of, it’s ok.

Someone announces that their meeting is over and the seven of them take off like deer at the sound of a gunshot. The others rush off to their own schedules, Shownu jogging to the staff meeting with the PD.

There isn't enough time.

**

Kihyun can’t stop staring, and he knows that it’s bad, but he physically can’t tear his eyes away.

Shownu moves with a certain frantic tempo like a spinning top, one which dared to collapse if he faltered. He’s a bundle of nerves operating on muscle memory and the trust in himself that he can get through this. He needs to slow down, but they all know he can’t. None of them can. It’s never even a consideration.

 

“You ready over there?” he asks after about a minute of trying to see if Shownu would respond without having to be prompted.

 

“Yeah…. Yeah, just give me a minute…” Shownu’s hunched over by the speaker, plugging his phone in so they can run through the choreography again. Kihyun yawns for what must be the seventh time this hour.

Then he sees it.

The plug won’t go it. Or it would, but Shownu keeps missing the audio jack. His mechanics are all off- it’s like watching someone try to walk over cobblestones blindfolded except it shouldn’t be like this, not when it’s the middle of the day.

He wants to take the object from him, but then the leader stops.

Shownu is staring at his left hand, which is shaking uncontrollably. He doesn't do anything to stop it. He doesn't even look scared. He just puts it down and tries for the sixth time to get the jack into the port. With the others distracted by their own conversations, Kihyun touches his arm with a quiet 'hey’.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

Shownu stops, putting the phone down. He opens his mouth to say yes, opens his mouth to tell him not to worry, but an undercurrent takes the strength out of him, drowning him in exhaustion and guilt. There are going to be tears soon. He closes his mouth and nods 'yes’ instead.

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

No, no, he can't. If Kihyun keeps asking, Shownu knows he's going to break. He shakes his head ‘no’.

 

Kihyun pats his arm, comforting and thoughtful. “Ok.”

 

He doesn't push the issue further. Shownu pinches the bridge of his nose to stop himself from crying.

**

He doesn’t leave Shownu’s side, and in the moments when he’s forced to, he practically flies back to his post at the first chance he gets. They make it through practice just barely- the staff can see the sorry state they’re all in and the choreographer lets them go home early. The lot of them stumble home like a crowd of zombies across the building and up the stairs, spilling messily into the kitchen and then into their own rooms. Kihyun keeps one hand on his leader the whole time just to be safe, guiding him to the ground once they reach the safety of Kihyun’s room.

 

He leaves for a moment, just to get some tea and saltine crackers, the kind of stuff that goes down easy. Shownu’s organs have started objecting to the obscene amounts of caffeine he’s been trying to get into his body, his mouth hesitating to push the fluid down with a reluctance like medicine. Now that he’s without it, the black spots in his memory that appear when he blinks are getting worse. His body is trying to put itsself asleep, but it’s fighting against the man’s will, and everyone knew that when Shownu put his mind to something, there was rarely a force that could  stop him from succeeding.

 

Kihyun’s hands move up and down along his leader’s spine, as though coaxing the tea down. “You ok, baby?”

 

He looks at him-- really looks at him-- and the light shines on sleepless red eyes. The hours on hours of moving, never allowing himself to rest, too scared of sitting, too scared of eating because those things make him sleepy, and he can't afford to sleep. He shivers with the effort to prevent his mind from fraying into a thousand strands.

 

“ _I'm so tired_.” he says.

 

And he drops.

**

Shownu is Little.

_Shownu is Little._

Kihyun's hands twitch as he comes closer, trying to comfort the trembling mass that _is_ his baby but finding that he shakes just as violently in his arms. God, what kind of caretaker was he? Minhyuk knew was he was doing, he could probably fix this in a heartbeat, but Kihyun... he doesn't know enough. He knows how to take care of everyone, just the basic things, but this? This is beyond him. Inconsolable, tears of exhaustion.

 

“Papa, good?” Shownu mumbles.

 

The words pull him out of his mind. He can't think about that now. He has to be there. “Yes, pumpkin, so good for papa.”  

 

“No….” He climbs over Kihyun’s legs on all fours, then sits on his knees. Hands come out to rest on his chest, one hand over Kihyun’s heart. “Not me, Papa good?”

 

He opens his mouth in surprise, then closes it in favor of smiling. _Of course_. Leave it to Shownu to think of others before himself, even when he’s working with his most essential, Little thoughts.

 

“Papa’s good.” Kihyun kisses the tip of his Little’s nose. “Rest, baby, papa’s good.”

 

The words seem to do the trick, Shownu becoming more pliant without having to worry about being a burden. The Little rubs his eyes, a soft whimper tumbling out, then another. His mouth pulls down into a frown, fighting back sniffles. “Tired…”

 

“Shh, shh…. It’s ok, I’m right here. I’m right here….” Kihyun pulls him close, cradling his head so Shownu is laid against him. His body rocks out of instinct trying to calm the thoughts of _Oh my god, no, no, not like this, please God_ because it isn't like the first time, when he was upset and it was fixable, because this wasn't something he could fix with a few words and some kisses, this was exhaustion and hardship and pain. His baby is in pain. And he knows that this will, without a doubt, be something that happens in the future. And despite all that, he's still _helpless_. Shownu is crying, and he can’t tell whether he should feel his panic or his heartbreak more. He can’t do this. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to do, so he does the only thing he’s ever known how to do.

 

He sings.

**

It’s something in English. Shownu isn’t exactly sure what he’s saying, but it’s mourning and it’s nostalgia and it’s longing all at once. His voice bellows with its power but it’s gentle, held back like a wave, towering.

 

_And those dizzy stargazers who dreamed of the black_

_Kept their heads in the clouds and they never looked back_

_They kept wandering and never did they look down_

 

_Charting Neptune by the fire of the sun_

_Kept looking for new constellations_

_New constellations_

 

It’s so soothing, feeling the vibration of Kihyun’s chest as he sings, feels the rhythm of his heart. His breathing eases, tension receding.

 

_It’s hard to believe that it’s wrong to want more_

_Than the truest of blues and a love like a roar_

_I will run to wherever I want to go_

 

Shownu’s head grows heavier on his chest. Good. This is good. Kihyun uses his free hand to dim the brightness on his phone, typing out the word ‘little’ in the text box.

**

He's trying his best to not let the others know anything is wrong, but Minhyuk's pounding heart is betraying him. Kihyun had texted him one word and he had excused himself without second thought. If Jooheon had known the situation, he would have understood, but as it is he doesn’t, but that’s an issue Minhyuk will have to deal with another day. He can hear something coming from the other room, the sound of singing, just singing alone, trailing out into the hall.

 

_Child of Neptune, I’m the daughter of the sun_

_Keep showing me new constellations_

_New constellations_

 

The light filters through the crack in the door, shining light on Kihyun, who makes eyes contact with him but keeps singing, and Shownu, who is most definitely in his Littlespace. “Hi baby, look at you~” Minhyuk's voice trembles as he his steps slow, body bending down so he can look at his Little. He’s so fragile, so precious here.

 

Eyes blink open as the Little tries to makes heads or tails of what’s going on through the filter of sleep. 

"Minnie!" he slurs, hands reaching out to touch his caretaker.  

 

“Hi, yes, it's me! Your papa told me you were tired.”

 

The Little’s bottom lip pushes out into a pout. He nods.

 

“Our baby has been working so hard. Let's get you to sleep.”

 

Shownu falls asleep leaned against Kihyun’s body, wrapped in a cocoon of plush blankets, Minhyuk’s arm draped across him. Kihyun's head is on Minhyuk's shoulder; Minhyuk’s head is on top of Kihyun's. They're leaned against one another like ragdolls, slumped over, but still holding onto him like he'll drift away if they let go. Shownu smiles to himself.  

 

_They are going to make wonderful fathers some day._


	2. None of That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting people in the night could be scary for other reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of CK's arc! It's been sitting in my Drive for a while, so it's a little more developed than Chapter 1.  
> Hope this format works out, I wasn't sure how to go about it. Fingers crossed!

He doesn’t even notice himself going to sleep- one moment he’s switching to laying on the ground on his stomach, the next he’s waking up and the room is dark. The tabs on his computer are all still open, waiting, reminding him that he was supposed to be productive today.

 

The feeling of failure washes over him. The others weren’t asleep. Why wasn’t he as strong as them? Instead of being one hour ahead he’s now two hours behind, which means he’s going to have to stay up until four to get everything he wanted done, which means he’s going to get less sleep, which puts him behind for tomorrow.

 

Changkyun curls up into a ball and takes a deep breath. He swipes across the mousepad, the bright blue of his screensaver lighting up the wall.

 

_Ok….._

_Ok, you can do this._

 

**

He stands up for the first time since sitting down at 1:30. The pile of work on his desk isn’t getting any neater, but at least he’s putting a dent in it. If he can chug a monster and pull through until four without any distractions, he--

 

“Kyunnie… what--- why are you awake right now?”

 

Hyungwon stands in the middle of the doorway, pajamas much too big for his thin frame, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at Changkyun. The younger man’s gaze is trained at nothing, tormented, like a shell-shocked soldier. “I have to finish this.” he says in a hollow voice.

 

“Can it wait? It’s like… almost three in the morning.”

 

“I was supposed to work today… I got back an hour earlier but then I took a nap for three hours so I have two more hours of work to catch up on.”

 

He gives a concerned look but he doesn’t tell him it’s foolish. He understood what it felt like, the panic. “I took a nap too and I’m going to bed.”

 

“But---”

 

“You aren’t going to get any good work done this late at night. Let’s go to bed. We’ll wake up early tomorrow, when we’re all rested, and pick it up then.”

 

“What are you doing awake?”

 

“Me? I’m always awake now. I sleep in six hour shifts- why do you think I’m always falling asleep during the day?”

 

“Yeah, but…. But… I haven’t done enough…” Changkyun can feel the tears coming forward, swirling his vision. He lowers his head so that Hyungwon can’t see him about to cry. He can’t be seen like this- he’s the maknae, he already has so much he has to prove. The others are going to see him as weak if he cries. They can’t see him like this. They can’t---

 

“Hey, hey! It’s ok, what’s wrong?” Hyungwon’s lanky arms loop around him, holding him close.  “It’s ok, why are you crying?”

 

“Because I’m weak.”

 

“Weak? Who ever said that?” Changkyun cries harder. The tears just keep coming, and he wishes he could stop it, just cut himself off while he still has some dignity left, but he can barely breathe much less control his outcry.

 

“You and the hyungs all work so hard, you’re so strong. I can’t keep up.”

 

“Hey, none of that! You’re not weak, you’re human. We all are. And you’re amazing!” Hyungwon wipes away the tears, nimble fingers ghosting across his cheeks. “And do you know how the others do what they do? By getting regular amounts of sleep. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

**

Hyungwon doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even make a sound, when Changkyun comes into his room twenty minutes after he'd tucked the maknae into bed. He’s thinking too hard, how cute, hands wrapped up in sweater paws as he tries to find the right words. Hyungwon throws the covers down so the rapper can climb in. The bed dips as he climbs in, then continues to dip as he fidgets. Hyungwon tell him to stop fidgeting, just get comfortable, it’s ok, and he does.

 

Changkyun rises from the haze of sleep for just a moment, when he hears quiet giggles and the shutter of someone’s (Kihyun’s) camera. It’s too early for this, it must be. Changkyun rolls over to snuggle further into the covers. Whatever teasing is awaiting him at the breakfast table, it can wait. He buries his face into the clean scent of fresh linen and the lingering traces of perfume on Hyungwon’s clothes, and he drifts off to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Sagi, Ronny, Butterfly, ForeverLost, Mrtve, and Doc, you guys give me strength!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Destiny as always. Sorry about the prompt :(  
> Shoutout to Professor Selleck.


End file.
